Angel Unaware, Part 1: Wannabe

Angel Unaware Header

The January issue of Christian Fiction Online Magazine has released, which means it’s time to unveil the first chapter of this year’s serial! Are you ready for Angel Unaware, Part 1? 

He was the new kid, and he needed a friend.

_Angel Unaware

Story Summary: Marcus had never been a typical cherub. Raised on earth instead of in enclaves, he blended right in with humanity. The perfect Graft. But what Marcus wanted more than anything else was to become a warrior. So he asked God for a mentor. Marcus gets his armor fittings and swordsmanship lessons. But he also ends up with a couple of well-meaning foster parents, three nosy siblings, a lonesome landlord, and a new best friend.

Angel Unaware, © Copyright 2015 Christa Kinde, all rights reserved.
Part One: “Wannabe”
Christian Fiction Online Magazine, January 2015 | Read it now >>

After you’ve read there, I hope you’ll come back here with any comments and questions. : )

22 thoughts on “Angel Unaware, Part 1: Wannabe

  1. Micailah Cialella says:

    Eeek, I love this so much. So Marcus did not come to Jedrick, Jedrick came to him.:) Aleff is awesome. Now, I know why Marcus wants to learn how to ride a motorcycle. ;) And sisters, uh-oh Marcus is in for a treat there!

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      • Ah. That’s another instance of the editor changing my original text. Aleff is supposed to be singing a variation on some very familiar holiday lyrics. “We never let poor Marcus join in any cherub games!”

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    • Arian says:

      Micailah has paraphrased slightly. Despite the editors’ carelessness with punctuation and their mistaken ‘correction’ of interrupted words, of this crime they are blameless. Aleff’s warbling is still worded as you intended it to be. :)

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  2. Arian says:

    A couple of style comments:

    I think “extracurricular activ-” would work better than “extracurricular active-“.

    ” ‘For you I’m not going with you this time.’ ” has dropped a punctuation mark after “you”. I’d go with a full stop / period, which I think it probably was originally anyway. :)

    And a couple of story comments:

    Woot! This is going to be fun! :)

    Like

    • Both of the places you’ve pinpointed are spots where the magazine editor decided to “adjust” my story. -helpless shrug- G&P were correct in my version, and I cannot go in and make changes to the magazine. Oh well.

      I appreciate the woot! ; )

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    • Arian says:

      *frown* There’s something wrong with my wording there, only I can’t see what it is.

      Ah! You don’t forbear from [noun]; you forbear from [participle].

      So shall I forbear from /commenting/ on anything else I notice in this story? :)

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    • Arian says:

      Okay then. :) I’ll stop being so self-conscious eventually. It’s too many years of hearing “Look, you’re the only one who even notices, let alone cares. Just shut up about it.” It’s a rather lonely position to be in. :)

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